2004 Entries
2003 Entries
2002 Entries

2002-09-17 - 4:38 p.m.

One of my favorite illusions is of myself as tolerant, reasonable and unruffled. A castle in the air. The image holds together until my hot buttons are pushed, which is guaranteed to evoke impassioned--and rarely judicious--responses.

I’m considered heartless by some, and I probably am in some ways. Despite my flare-ups and tantrums, I’m basically non-violent, yet cruelty to animals can kindle a blind fury leading to brusque and bloodthirsty reactions toward the offending people...and it is people who strike out at animals. It would be much easier for me to inflict pain on a person than a trusting and powerless animal. Heartless, maybe.

I’ve penned letters to and scolded over the telephone the board of directors of our local Humane Society for the incompetent and careless operation of the animal shelter. I refuse to sit and listen to the macho, backwoods talk of hunting down and brutalizing animals. Using a powerful gun against an animal is not proof of manhood, and I’m not afraid to tell the beer guzzling killers just that. I will take a pet away from the owners if I see them mistreating the animal.

The inequality between the haves and have nots in the public schools stirs up an inner hostility and sends me into a mean frenzy. I’ve watched and fought the narrow-minded and elitist thinking so long I’m in The Twilight Zone of rationality. Breath-holding, feet-stomping tantrums have become a way of life when I witness some of the injustices handed out daily without thought or care.

When told by the chickenshits from Board down through superintendent and one pompous high school principal bringing the law enforcement drug dogs onto our campuses would create grief for all involved--because the haves and not the have nots would be found dirty--I regress to the inexplicable anger of childhood. Incoherent screaming!

I can easily let murderous thoughts take over when I see someone recklessly and spitefully hurt someone close to me--family or friend. I might contend I have a non-violent nature, but I am a zealot of the death penalty for anyone who hurts those people closest to me.

I have no time for parents who speak of love for their children but who fail to provide the love and responsibility necessary to care for and raise those children into worthwhile and satisfying adult lives. Never mind the excuses, parents have an obligation to the young people they bring into this world, and too many are too busy or too ignorant or too self-indulgent for the task.

Never tell me how I feel. I won’t tolerate it.

Previous -- Next