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2002-11-18 - 5:49 a.m.

There’s much ado about opportunities missed.

Too much ado. Too much time wasted singing the blues over all we’ve missed in life. Valuable time eaten up by discontent and second guessing the journey and eventual outcome of the road not taken. Empty, disquieting time wondering when missed opportunities will ultimately come back to haunt us.

I don’t know why we sometimes choose not to grab the golden ring of opportunity, but I suspect the failure to do so involves procrastination, insecurity and fear. And sometimes opportunity is rejected because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work!

Some wonderful opportunities have presented themselves in my lifetime. I’ve seized some, I’ve missed countless others. The motives underlying my choosing not to take advantage of some chances offered would probably send a therapist into analytical orgasm. I do not believe in divine intervention. I’m the sole author of my book of life. Any decisions and screw ups made are mine. I’ve made some poor decisions; there’s a myriad of screw ups in the chapters of my book. I’ve missed chances in life. Period.

I’m not an irrepressible optimist. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not, and they also know how life’s rose-colored Pollyannas cause me to bristle. Still, I think we give over too much of ourselves bemoaning those life chances we turned our backs on. We can’t know where those opportunities might have taken us. All we really have are assumptions and self-constructed dreams. Fabricated theater productions played out on the stages in our heads. We allow ourselves to be held hostage by the specter of opportunity missed, many times overlooking the pay off in the opportunities we did take advantage of.

Despite my incredible knack of screwing up some opportunities, I’ve benefited from others. Not always due to wisdom or logic or strategy. I stumbled into a little dumb luck; I didn’t see other options; it was an ego trip. I’m fortunate. Although I don’t always see the positive side, most of the opportunities I’ve taken advantage of have been rewarding.

Some years ago I had a chance to return to the University of Iowa and complete a degree in journalism. My original goal at high school graduation, but I didn’t follow through when I was 18. Maybe out of fear, unquestionably a result of Young and Stupid. When I investigated programs at UI and learned I could forego an undergrad degree and complete a graduate degree if accepted into the program, I didn’t let the opportunity get away. It was 17 years late in coming, and I wasn’t going to ignore the golden ring a second time. Although one or two friends questioned why, when I already had two undergraduate degrees and one graduate pedigree, I’d put myself through it all again--and one friend doubted my ability to ever settle into anything--most people in my life understood and supported me. I completed the program and went on to write for a large-circulation city newspaper. I’ll always consider this one of the most fulfilling opportunities of my life.

Following my father’s death I had the chance to move home and be closer to my mother. Even if this may have been more obligation at the time than opportunity, it allowed me a chance to try to repay my mother for all she and my father had done for me, and coming home opened up a world of friends I love dearly. These people are remarkable.

When I moved home I came without a job prospect. Knowing it was pointless, my first contact was the local newspaper. Their primary qualifications for hiring were the ability to spell typewriter and a willingness to go door to door tossing the daily rag on porches, and minimum wage was not going to sustain my lifestyle. I decided to fall back on my credentials in education and went to the local school district in search of employment.

I was fortunate, the district had a job opening and my background fit the qualifications. And Lady Luck offered her hand again, I got the job. Though challenging and overwhelming at times and frustrating and heartbreaking at other times, working with kids considered worthless losers by most in the educational profession has also sometimes been gratifying. It’s difficult to put into words the feelings I have when one of those mavericks tells me “Thank You.” I condemn; I criticize; I bull up and explode about my workday--and yes, I’m ready to retire--but I’m also glad I didn’t pass up the opportunity to work with those kids.

I’m an occasional traveler squandering time on the road not taken, and I’m guilty of sometimes making much ado about opportunity missed, but sometimes--on the good days--I do wonder why we don’t give a little more time to putting some polish on the opportunities we did take advantage of.

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