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2002-11-26 - 5:31 a.m.

The recent release of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets has again focused attention on magic and wizardry and is spurring imaginations--both young and old--of lesser, non-magical, mortals. The Wizarding World is filled with enchanted objects, bewitched items and magical devices. Pocket sneakoscopes, giant spiders, flying cars, exploding toilets. Potions, magical spells and flying broomsticks.

I'm not an aficionado of fantasy or wizardry, nor am I a fan of science fiction. Maybe my training in psychology precludes any belief in--or enjoyment of--sorcery and the paranormal. Or maybe it's nothing more than my inherent mulish Missouri skepticism. In the world of 11-year-old Harry (or is he 12 now?), I'm a muggle!

Still, there are times when I wish I had some magical powers. Nothing mystifying. Nothing flashy. No sinister and dangerous dark magic. No, all I want is a simple magic wand.

I'm not interested in apparating and disapparting, an advanced spell allowing me to disappear from one spot and reappear immediately in another. The whole process sounds flighty. Besides, use of this spell requires a license granted only when a test is passed, and testing and licensing in the wizardry world seem incongruous and untrue. Nor do I want to be invisible. Too much chance of me losing me, and I'm hopelessly lost most of the time anyway.

All forms of magical transportation, since they require boarding and flying on something not meant for flying, would be wasted on me. I might take a ride on the Hogwarts' Express and the Magical Ship, but I can barely repress thoughts of the plane falling from the sky and endure regular airline flights, so there's no way I'm taking a trip on a flying carpet or flying carriage. And a flying broomstick? Forget it. With or without a protective field holding me to the broom and shielding me against wind and inertial forces, I’m not going!

Having super human strength doesn't impress me. I've seen the Superman movies, and I remember Popeye cartoons, and it seems to me all super human strength--whether from spinach or Kryptonite--got those guys was a world brimming with trouble and plenty of fights. If anything, I want a magic wand to help empty the world of trouble and put a stop to fighting.

Extra-sensory perception is an invasion of privacy, so I'll pass on mind reading, too. I guard my privacy, and I sure as hell don't want anyone snooping around in the nooks and crannies of my thoughts and feelings without me knowing it. And, I would imagine, there are times when we would probably scare ourselves to death if we were to crawl into someone else's head! Even though it does create a better relationship to know what another person is feeling or thinking, being privy to all the inner cognitive and emotional machinery of someone else's mind is, in my opinion, ethically wrong.

No, I don’t want any of these enchanting and bewitching powers. All I want is a simple magic wand to wave about and make some miraculous changes. I'm not a ministering spirit, nor am I pious. I'm not, in fact, at times even a very admirable person. But neither am I coldblooded, nor am I callous and blinded to life's inequities and cruelties.

Life has a way of being harshly and excruciatingly unfair and unjust. Inexplicably, bad things happen to good people. For a short while, I want a magic wand to even out the playing field. To lift some of life’s hurts and heartaches. To relieve pain and give happiness.

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