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2003-09-24 - 6:53 a.m.

Good Morning, Party Line…

“Good morning, Charlie, this morning I…”

And so it starts, every morning at 10 a.m. on our local radio station. Party Line is an hour long call-in program where people either buy or sell goods. Most anything goes out over the radio waves, except discussing politics or dissing someone else. Those are two no-nos on the program. Not that it hasn’t happened, or almost happened. Usually, however, Charlie figures out what the caller’s up to and eventually punches the disconnect button.

Charlie Porter is the program’s host. Charlie’s been the program host since Methuselah was a child and will probably expire on air someday. He’s faithfully at Radio Park five days a week, but sometimes his fingers stumble over the control board. Instead of hearing the calling party greet Charlie (“Yeah, CHARLIE?”), many times during a program a PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF or a buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz screeches out across the radio waves. Charlie can be heard in the background: ”Oops. Oops. PartyLinePartyLine.” Then he finds the right control and all is in working order again.

The program airs on the station that plays old rock. KIRX. 1450 On Your Dial. Most days I have a couple of CDs in my office for background noise, but once in a while I’ll play the radio. I’ve forgotten to bring CDs the last several days, so I’ve had to resort to the radio. And I’ve had a liberal dose of Party Line.

The following are just a few of Charlie’s callers this week:

“Hey, Charlie, I’d like to buy back the saddle I onct owned. Mah ex-wife stole it in the divorce. Then she up n sold it. It’s dark brown leather and has a fancy horn.”

“I really don’t want to, Charlie, but I’ll go down on my couch today. Anybody’s interested they can stop by.”

“I still got that right purdy jewelry here. Gotta come buy it today cause I’m puttin it up tomorrer.”

“Yeah, Charlie. We got us a real nice ‘frigerator for sale. It’s a real good un, it just don’t cool down.”

“Charlie, I’m lookin for odd stuff to do. I’ll do just bout anything for 5 dollars.”

“I gotta a bed of nails for sale. A real bed of nails you can lay down on. I’ll sell er fer twenty bucks.”

Not the stuff of Rush Limbaugh or Paul Harvey, nor does it rank up there with The Howard Stern Show, but “That’s our Party Line for today. Thanks so much for coming by to visit with us.”

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